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The Eight Year War Lyrics and Write-ups
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Track List:
March of the Faker
2008
I think the lyrics pretty much speak for themselves. It's a more generalized account of issues I've had to
deal with in recent years, especially after having become a father and finding myself in a peculiar state of
not being where I was expecting to be at this point in my life. The tension of various elements in the music is
a reflection of the tension in the lyrics. To me, this is one of those songs that tire you out by the end.
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Lyrics:
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It's a good job.
Mom and Dad will be so proud.
Nice job, son. You're well on your way to a responsible life.
We have to admit we always worried about you,
But we're happy to see you're doing well now.
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down.
Are you happy here?
Have a raise, you deserve it.
Nice job, young man. You're an asset to the company.
I don't know how we ever got by without you.
We'd like to keep you here for a very long time.
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down.
This is what I want to do.
I can be happy doing this.
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down.
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This isn't pessimistic.
I'm being realistic.
I can still be artistic
But I can't be narcissistic.
I have mouths to feed
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down.
I can't have everything.
I have to choose something.
I have mouths to feed.
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down.
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The Magical Kingdom of
Love
2008
This is probably the most melodic song I've ever written, or at least one of them. Early indications
are that this song is open to the most misinterpretation of any of these. I'll let the lyrics speak for
themselves as well as they do rather than try to explain them. This song has existed in my head since at least
1997, but I just never got around to recording it, partially because I can't play guitar. I was able to
simulate one decently, I think, in this recording. The song needs another section, some sort of bridge, but I'm
very happy with the overall feel of it.
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Lyrics:
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Keep faith in the savior,
Be on your best behavior,
And you'll find yourself in
The Magical Kingdom of Love.
Play the role you're given,
No matter where you're driven,
And you'll find yourself in
The Magical Kingdom of Love.
Deviants and traitors
All serve the Great Betrayer,
And they won't get into
The Magical Kingdom of Love.
If they're not like you, then
They surely are subhuman
And they don't belong in
The Magical Kingdom of Love.
In the afterlife
You will find your peace
If you're faith is strong and true.
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From the ashes of
This sordid place
He will build the world anew.
Be careful now what you teach
And keep your child on a short leash,
And you'll find yourself in the
Magical Kingdom of Love.
Scoff at non-believers,
For they are just deceivers
Who don't belong in
The Magical Kingdom of Love.
In the afterlife
We will find your peace
If our faith is strong and true.
From the ashes of
This sordid place
He will build the world anew.
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A Chance of Loss
2008
Marriage is difficult. I mean, it's very rewarding to be with a great woman, but it takes a lot of work. And
there have been times when I didn't think I was strong enough to keep it together. This is me looking back at
those times (and hoping they don't come so strongly again).
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Lyrics:
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I don't want her to leave me,
But I can't make her stay.
She will go where she wants to,
And I like her that way.
I feel sick and unbalanced.
How can I ever survive?
I'm afraid of the future.
Can my life be revived?
I don't have the strength.
I don't want that life.
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The Legend I Was
Meant to Be
2008
Lyrics I write have always tended to reflect whatever internal conflicts are going on in my life at the
time, whether those conflicts are related to my own life or the way I view the world. A number of the songs on
this album deal with my sense of having lost my way in my quest to fulfill the dreams I had for myself when I
was younger, and a desire to find it again. I suppose one could see this as a midlife crisis song, although I'm
not quite at that point yet and it's not quite a desire to return to youthful ways. Anyway, I'm not
quite happy with the mix of this. It didn't help that I was recovering from a cold when I did the vocals and
couldn't get them to sound quite like I wanted them to (this plagues several songs on the album).
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Lyrics:
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Ties, a stack of files,
A set of keys to lock
The door behind me when
It's time to go -
How did these objects come
To define everything
About my life
When I was always meant
For so much more,
When way up high
Out beyond the sky
Is the legend I
Was meant to be.
Home, to see the wife.
I know she loves me, but
Her disappointment stings.
She knows about
The man I am beneath
This false exterior.
I hope she sees
That I am trying to
Do what I can
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But way up high
Out beyond the sky
Is the legend I
was meant to be.
Responsibilities
have taken hold of me
And fear has backed me down.
But if there is
A way for me to find
the way back there and if
It's not too late
Then I will set out to
correct these things and
I will fly
Out beyond the sky
To reclaim what I
Am meant to be.
Way up high,
Where the old dreams fly,
I will search for my
Destiny.
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Return of the Fire
2008
I was going around my apartment humming the melody for this quite some time ago. I recall giving my son
Aidan a bath and having the whole thing just sort of come to me back in 2005. At the time, I hadn't written a
note of music in years and had convinced myself that those days were probably behind me. The lyrics are
actually about what the song was for me: a rekindling of my musical fire. This song was the last one for
which I recorded the vocals, and the high parts suffer for it. The mix is also pretty bad and I had a lot of
trouble getting it to sound even as okay as it does. I'd definitely redo this one if I had more time, and I may
do so in the coming months.
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Lyrics:
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Trying to escape my fear,
I packed up all that I held dear,
Set out to find peace and sense,
And put my faith in Providence.
But as the days
Stretched into years,
I was consumed
By all those fears.
My fire was gone.
My fire was gone.
Blinded by my own self-doubt,
Convinced that I could go without,
I believed, reluctantly,
That was they way it had to be.
But deep inside,
The fire still burned.
My blood still boiled.
My heart still yearned
To rise above
The apathy
And stand up high
So all could see
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The fire’s light.
The fire’s light.
All of my defenses then
Came crashing to the ground,
Caught up in the fire’s path.
I could no longer hide.
I stand on the charred remains
Of what had caused me so much pain:
A suit of bland normality,
A mask of doomed complacency.
From this day on,
I shall not bend.
I shall not wear
That mask again.
I shall not let
The fire die.
I shall not live
Inside that lie.
The fire burns.
The fire burns.
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My Sanctuary
2008
When I moved to Providence, back in 2001, I didn't know anyone there except my wife (then girlfriend), who
moved with me. I was quite lonely there and I never really made connections with people the way I had in New
York. But there was one place where I found social contact: an online forum, where I proceeded to post
copiously over the next several years. The friends I made in Providence were people I had never met in
real life (and, to this day, still have not met). This was the first song I recorded for the album, and it is
one of the better-recorded ones. This and "A Chance of Loss" are the only ones I recorded before my cold got
the better of me.
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Lyrics:
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I suddenly find myself
caught in a foreign land,
where everyone’s a foreigner
who doesn’t quite understand.
Huddled in a corner,
I’m left to search alone.
Well, here is a place
where they can’t see my face,
but they welcome me in anyway.
Here I can go
To step out of the show
And escape from the cold and the gray.
This is my sanctuary.
A place for me.
Maybe you find it strange,
or maybe you think it’s sad,
but honestly I can say
it’s the best time that I’ve had.
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Huddled in my corner,
my friends are all virtual.
Here I am me
as I want me to be
and I don’t have to watch what I say.
They understand
And they offer a hand
To a man who is so far away.
This is my sanctuary.
A place for me.
Here is a place
where they can’t see my face,
but they welcome me in anyway.
Here I can go
To step out of the show
And escape from the cold and the gray.
This is my sanctuary.
A place for me.
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You Smell Like Cheese
2008
This was inspired by a memory triggered by a line in the movie Juno in which a character says that
another character's house smells like soup. I'm not really sure what soup smells like (there are so many
kinds!), but I know what cheese smells like (though I will admit that I am not able to differentiate the way
the song implies). There was a weird guy with whom I worked a long time ago who was known for smelling like
cheese. I imagined it as a real issue in a romantic relationship, and voila! The silliest song on the album was
born.
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Lyrics:
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You know that I love you.
I've said it before.
I have something to tell you.
It just can't wait anymore.
I've tried to accept it
For our love's sake,
But it is too much, dear.
It's something I just can't take.
You smell like cheese.
You smell like cheese.
I cannot stand it.
I have to leave.
I have to leave.
I have to end it.
It isn't quite Cheddar,
Not really American.
It reminds me of Muenster
Or something Italian.
But when you get angry,
It's Limburger time.
That's why I run away
Whenever we fight.
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You smell like cheese.
You smell like cheese.
I cannot stand it.
I have to leave.
I have to leave.
I have to end it.
I'm all broken up now,
I know you must be, too.
I've always assumed that
I'd spend my whole life with you.
I thought you'd get better,
That it would go away,
But it only gets stronger,
And so I have to say:
You smell like cheese.
You smell like cheese.
I cannot stand it.
I have to leave.
I have to leave.
I have to end it.
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Biggest Bear I've
Ever Seen
2008
I wasn't sure whether I would include this song. I didn't need it for the length (RPM requires either 10
songs or 35 minutes, and this song is less than 2 minutes long), and the mix is atrocious. But I thought the
album needed something with a fast tempo to break it up a bit, so here it is. It's essentially a quick recap of
a train wreck of a thread on the message board I mentioned in the description for "My Sanctuary".
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Lyrics:
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I can’t believe you people
Look at the smug look on that
hunter’s face!
It’s a disgrace!
Americans, you just don’t get it!
What are you trying to say?
Hey, man, Canadians hunt
too, you know,
so let it go.
And that’s the biggest bear I’ve ever seen.
That’s the biggest bear I’ve ever seen.
That’s the biggest bear I’ve ever…
Looking for conversation?
Looking for insight?
Well, just turn away,
just turn away
’cause this is not the place you’ll find it.
Is it another train wreck?
Well, I don’t know, somehow
it fascinates
and resonates.
Yeah, that’s the biggest bear I’ve ever seen.
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Part 33
2008
This was originally going to be the opening song of the album, but the recording wasn't quite good enough
for me to put it right up in front like that. Also, the closing feels like a real closure to me, so it seemed
to fit more naturally at the end. It is related to the themes of several other songs about my own life and how
far off its expected course it has veered.
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Life is filled with surprises and turns.
Those who attempt to map it out are doomed to fail.
Where we think we're going is seldom where we end up.
Volatility will always prevail.
Years from now, I may look back on this time,
And laugh at how naïve I was.
Or, perhaps, I will marvel at how wise
I was to see as a child does.
A man who can tell you where he will be in ten years
Is a man who will have done nothing by then.
That, or he is incredibly lucky.
Where did my time go?
I try to remember, but I just don't know.
The years weigh on my mind.
I can't do the things I used to do, I find.
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But wait, don't give up on me,
For surely I'm worth something. Yes I'm sure you must agree that
Time is an elusive foe.
You just watch it tick away and you cannot stop the flow.
Life is filled with surprises and turns.
Those who attempt to map it out are doomed to fail.
Where we think we're going is seldom where we end up.
Volatility will always prevail.
Years from now, I may look back on this time,
And laugh at how naïve I was.
Or, perhaps, I will marvel at how wise
I was to see as a child does.
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